Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
