Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
