i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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