i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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