people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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