Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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