remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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