i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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