i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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