god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
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After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
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TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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