Soap is not a condiment
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
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