I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
