no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I supernannyed him into submission
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
