Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
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Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
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in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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