so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
