jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize