The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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