I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
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Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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