Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
vagina is talking i cant
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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