I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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