I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.