No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
