we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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