Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
