you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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