I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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