bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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