So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
