Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
