he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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