She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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