Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My cat gives me a boner
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
