From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
