i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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