She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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