U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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