"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
did you just send me my own nude
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
