Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Less talking, more tequila
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
