ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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