Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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