why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize