I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
