I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize