im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
