Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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