uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
