I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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