Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
