yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
