Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
