i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize