butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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