Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
