We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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