im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
it's like iHOP with fire
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
