I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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