I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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