He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
